The road to Housewives is littered with the hollowed-out husks of every kind of relationship imaginable. Lovers, family members, mistreated assistants — all could band together for an Erin Brockovich–style class-action lawsuit. Falling out with the people closest to you is the devil’s bargain every one of these women makes for our entertainment.

The central conceit of a Housewives franchise is essentially “watch this group of friends navigate life together.” But over the years, the limits of that premise have been stretched beyond recognition. Now, we’ve got women who once passed each other eating Chinese chicken salad at Joan’s being introduced as a “friend” of the cast. What we’re meant to be watching is friendships forged in the fires of reality television — women supporting women through awful men, awful children, and even more awful statement necklaces.

Our emotional investment lives in these relationships. So when they fall apart, it can be legitimately heartbreaking. It’s not the end of a decadeslong romance after infidelity, white-collar crime, or a fake-cancer grift that unmoors us — it’s the BFF breakups that haunt us.

And this year has been particularly brutal. We’re currently watching Porsha and her childhood bestie (and newly minted peach holder), Shamea, hit a wall in their decadelong friendship. Word is, Julia and Adriana’s bond will be pulverized like mint in a mojito over the course of Real Housewives of Miami season seven. The only reason Garcelle and Sutton’s friendship isn’t on this list? It seemed to implode internally for Garcelle at the reunion — with zero real-time insight for us at home.

So I’ve taken stock, taken to scripture (Peacock Premium), and revisited the Real Housewives bestie breakups that truly shook the franchise to its core.

Kyle Richards & Dorit Kemsley (RHOBH)

A friendship of convenience that unraveled into a BFF breakup-by-miscommunication. Dorit thought she was Kyle’s No. 1 one girl — a questionably accented bestie with a penchant for designer duds she could neither afford nor explain. Kyle, however, seemed to see Dorit as … well, someone on the call sheet who wasn’t Carlton Gebbia. They were co-workers and couples friends, vacationing together with their bromance-prone husbands: the dashing, unfaithful Mauricio and PK, a human hangnail. The disparity in how they viewed their friendship was never clearer than when Dorit dared to weigh in on Kyle’s and Kathy Hilton’s sister-vention. Kyle shut it down cold: “I don’t want you to interject in this right now.”

Add in a season of being sidelined by Kyle’s burgeoning “friendship” with Morgan Wade, and not even shared trauma — including the ousting of Lisa Vanderpump and literal home invasions — could save them. After an offseason of BravoCon sniping, fashion callouts, and passive-aggressive Amazon Live interviews, Dorit entered season 14 with a disc hat the size of a lazy Susan and a repossessed Chanel bag filled with rage, cigarettes, and not a single fuck to give. Her realization that she wasn’t No. 2 in the Fox Force Five — maybe not even No. 5 — set off a series of confrontations that sucked up all the oxygen in the first half of the season and a tentative resolution to this show friendship.

Whitney Rose & Heather Gay (RHOSLC)

Many friendships in the Housewives universe can’t stand up to the slightest scrutiny, yet here’s one backed by 23andMe. Heather and Whitney connected over being surprise cousins, their shared experience of getting ostracized by the Church of Latter-day Saints, and the most sacred of all bonds: hating Lisa Barlow.

After being dubbed “Bad Weather” by Lisa at the season-one reunion, their downfall came from needing their “fillings” validated by Salt Lake City’s perpetual cool girl. If taking a cast trip to Arizona wasn’t dark enough, their season-three fight cracked the foundation in a way they never fully recovered from — with Whitney stirring up the ol’ “Lisa gives blowjobs for Utah Jazz tickets” rumor and Heather refusing to back her up, all in a bid to get into Lisa’s good graces. After that, Whitney and Heather made up and fell out many times, but it was never the same. Bad Weather had a cold front coming in from the north, and it has lingered.

Margaret Josephs & Danielle Staub (RHONJ)

Every day of her friendship with Danielle, Margaret was going to war. Say what you will about Margaret — a polarizing fixture on the most polarizing franchise — but she does have a penchant for taking in strays. And no one has strayed more than Danielle: straying from the light, straying from human decency, and, if the literary and cultural touchstone Cop Without a Badge is to be believed, straying from the law. One thing she never strayed from? Off-brand tanning lotion.

By the time Danielle asked Margaret to be a bridesmaid in her wedding — a union with the same expiration date as a manager’s-special pack of chicken drumsticks the week after Memorial Day — the friendship was already on shaky ground. Danielle, poor damaged Danielle, couldn’t see she was being used as a pawn in Teresa’s ongoing game to retain control of the show. Tre sicced Danielle on Margaret during the holiest of all excursions: a shopping spree on Long Island. The fight went from ponytail pulling, to water throwing, to Danielle making the inexplicable decision to empty the contents of Margaret’s purse onto a lit candle. The friendship had a shot, but Danielle’s need to be the most unstable element in every room, even one full of uranium, far outweighed any good left in the world.

Thankfully, we were left with one of late-period RHONJ’s most iconic moments: Margaret pushing Danielle’s husband, Marty, into Jennifer Aydin’s pool, then turning to Danielle and saying, on her way out, “Your husband’s in the pool.”

Alexis Bellino & Gretchen Rossi (RHOC)

Things started off well enough for newbies Gretchen and Alexis when they joined the show in seasons four and five, respectively. Alexis supported Gretchen’s relationship with the questionable, Hanna-Barbera–named Slade Smiley, and Gretchen returned the favor by defending Alexis against the “Jesus Jugs” moniker she simply could not beat. A common enemy is a great place to start a friendship — in life and in Housewives — but theirs was no match for the likes of Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge.

Cracks began to show when petty tiffs lingered longer than they should have, like Gretchen refusing to let go of Alexis calling her a princess, a statement so accurate it could calibrate a polygraph. Ultimately, their mutual need to stay relevant (and on the show) doomed the friendship. Alexis became the target of Tamra’s ire, and instead of putting up a united front, Gretchen cozied up to her sworn enemy in a move that sealed both their fates. No one would film with Alexis, and Gretchen’s naked (wasted) play for relevance felt so fake she was booted from the show. It was a friendship ender and the most inauthentic move RHOC would see until Alexis returned over a decade later with Shannon’s ex, John Janssen, on her arm.

Brandi Glanville & Lisa Vanderpump (RHOBH)

Lisa and Brandi were an odd fit from the start: Brandi, the crass newbie; Lisa Vanderpump, the grande dame of Beverly Hills. When Brandi hobbled into the group on crutches, the Richards sisters saw a target to relive their Disney child-star bullying days; Lisa saw an unlikely ally and, if needed, a fall gal.

Lisa knew some of Brandi’s antics were wrong, yet she couldn’t help but fall for that cheeky little monkey! Lisa — and her embalmed husband, Ken — even had Brandi’s back in her season-three fight with Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif, a moment that unforgivably featured Brandi publicly airing Adrienne’s fertility journey. Like a server at SUR in a dress so sheer you can see their dreams disappear through it, Brandi became part of the Vanderpump family: uncomfortably flirting with Ken and coaxing Lisa into saying dirty words on-camera. But soon, Lisa started treating Brandi a bit too much like one of her beloved rescue puppies, keeping her on a tight leash.

When Brandi began to bristle at the restrictions — calling Lisa’s intentions into question, exposing her machinations to the other ladies, and not bringing tabloid magazines on a cast trip to embarrass Kyle — Lisa took Brandi straight to the kill shelter, devastating Brandi in a real way. Lisa was playing chess, but Brandi thought they had a real friendship. She wasn’t even playing checkers; she was playing Chutes and Ladders.

Meredith Marks & Lisa Barlow (RHOSLC)

These two were best friends before the cameras even started rolling, entering the show fiercely loyal to each other amid castmate pile-ons and marital drama. But as the second season began pitting the women more and more against each other, Meredith’s penchant for “disengaging” during arguments made Lisa feel as though her friend didn’t have her back — a crime in the Housewives universe second only to not being a “girl’s girl.”

At a Cinco de Mayo celebration, everything came to una cabeza. After weeks of feeling neglected by her longtime friend, Lisa was “caught” on a “hot mic” saying things I’ve never heard any human being say about another living person. Like, the nicest, most repeatable thing Lisa said about Meredith in that moment was “Meredith can go fuck herself. She’s a fucking whore.” Ouch.

And it’s actually kind of sad because Lisa seems genuinely remorseful while Meredith, fairly, can’t find a way to move past hearing her friend of a decade say “You’ve fucked half of New York.” They brought a real friendship onto the show, one that spanned years and families but couldn’t last two seasons of reality television.

NeNe Leakes & Kim Zolciak (RHOA)

When they were good together, was anyone better than NeNe and Kim? To think they started the show as best buddies, and by the time the season-one reunion aired, NeNe was already screaming “Close your legs to married men!” at Kim over her relationship with Big Poppa. There may be no BFFs on this list who have experienced more ups and downs.

It felt like every season brought either a reconciliation or a new falling out — these two supernovas couldn’t possibly keep their friendship from combusting. Things took several dark turns: from threats of violence to actual violence, to comments that were microaggressions at best and full-on racist at worst. Ultimately, it all ended with Kim leaving the show midseason — and a reunion hug that felt less like friendship mending and more like “Let’s not sue each other.”

Teresa Giudice & Caroline Manzo (RHONJ)

This one does feel the most like a family unit fracturing, portending real-life bloodline cutoffs on both sides of the Manzo and Giudice-Gorga family trees. While they weren’t literally family, Teresa and Caroline were once “thick as thieves,” to use Mama Manzo’s parlance. That lasted a couple of seasons — until Teresa’s brother and his wife, Joe and Melissa Gorga, joined the show in season three behind her back, the original sin of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Not hating the Gorgas like they were a can of jarred GRAYVY was the beginning of the end for Teresa and Caroline. Then came Fabulicious! — Teresa’s cookbook, which called Caroline “as Italian as the Olive Garden” — and a friendship was ended. Shockingly, things got even messier from there, as Teresa was, and possibly still is, convinced that Caroline was the reason she and Joe got caught for tax evasion.

Lea Black & Adriana de Moura (RHOM)

If this is too deep a cut, I’m imploring Bravo: Open the schools! The original run of Real Housewives of Miami gave us so much: Mama Elsa at the height of her witchy strength, Larsa before she got a full head transplant, and one of the most quietly devastating friendship breakups in Housewives history.

Lea — the self-appointed queen of Miami society — and Adriana — a single mom and Brazilian artist — had a friendship that felt real … until it didn’t. (Adriana has continued in the reboot, cursing Kristen Doute–like destruction wherever she goes and positively redefining what a “friend of” can do on one of these shows.) Looking back, perhaps Lea’s attentiveness to Adriana and her son was more manipulative than magnanimous. And maybe, just maybe, Adriana having Lea help plan a wedding to her fiancé, Frederic — to whom she was already secretly married — was less about gratitude and more about securing a Bride Wars–style story line with nemesis Joanna Krupa. But whatever the reasons for the dissolution, the friendship was rooted in a real bond. When the clandestine marriage was finally revealed, all hell broke loose, leaving Adriana literally standing out in the rain in one of the more over-the-top scenes in a franchise already known for setting the standard for over-the-top.

NeNe Leakes & Cynthia Bailey (RHOA)

Two words: Friendship. Contract.

NeNe and Cynthia’s relationship had its highs and lows, but of all the besties NeNe burned through during her time on Atlanta (see also: NeNe and Kim, NeNe and Marlo), Cynthia’s friendship felt the most genuine — and the most grounding for the show’s biggest star.

Cynthia’s husband, Peter Thomas, drove a wedge between the two with his insatiable need for camera time and his habit of getting involved in the women’s business. So when NeNe called Peter a “bitch” for inserting himself into the drama, things between the two founding members of “the Talls” took a nosedive. Cynthia, long accused by the other women of being NeNe’s mouthpiece, began standing up for herself. The friendship ebbed and flowed after that but never again found its footing.

NeNe was at her most authentic and vulnerable when discussing her marriage or her children, but there was always a bit of a wall up with the other women. Except with Cynthia. It genuinely felt like she was rocked by the collapse of their friendship.

Jill Zarin & Bethenny Frankel (RHONY)

The blueprint. The fallout that set the tone for every friendship breakup to come. Jill and Bethenny were the first true BFF breakup on Housewives to devastate viewers. In the early seasons, Jill opened her heart — and by “her heart,” I mean her Hamptons home — to scrappy, struggling upstart Bethenny. But as Bethenny’s star began to rise, Jill’s jealousy grew.

No one in the history of Housewives has ever played her hand worse than Jill did during her feud with Bethenny. Even Andy Cohen told her pursuing a Jill-vs.-Bethenny story line for season three was a bad idea. But Jill, convinced that she’d been wronged (and that she was the fan favorite), went full steam ahead. The self-producing backfired spectacularly, turning Jill into a villain, while Bethenny, crying in a red coat on the streets of Manhattan, delivered one of the most iconic (and genuinely sympathetic) moments the franchise has ever seen.

For Jill, this was a crisis. By the time she realized she had overplayed her hand, it was too late. Bethenny had moved on: a new man, a baby on the way, and a rocket launch to fame, fortune, and, eventually, TikToks with the essence of a videotape from The Ring franchise. Jill was left behind, crashing Scary Island with a screeched “Surprise!” to the literal shudders of everyone there. No one has ever been brought lower.

Tres Amigas: Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Shannon Beador (RHOC)

Girl, how much time do you have? Three women. One abandoned tour. Zero emotional regulation. The thesis statement of all friendships on every Housewives franchise could be boiled down to Vicki screaming in Tamra’s face, “You’re supposed to be my friend! My soulmate! My sister!”

By the time Shannon rolled into town in season nine, Tamra and Vicki’s friendship had already been to hell and back for six seasons. When Shannon joined the group, the friendships hit new highs — and even lower lows. Somehow, they survived the three-season arc of Brooks’s fake cancer to emerge as the Tres Amigas, raining terror down on the good people of Puerto Vallarta. But much like a night out at Andele’s, the good times couldn’t last forever.

Tamra eventually found herself at odds with her amigas in the wake of Shannon’s DUI, canceling the Tres Amigas tour and friendship.

Kandi Burruss & Phaedra Parks (RHOA)

Kandi and Phaedra started out inseparable, forming a genuinely sweet friendship as they roamed the streets of Savannah, Georgia, or led the charge in the Smalls-vs.-Talls divide. When you think of Phaedra and Kandi in the good times, you can’t help but smile — probably because you’re picturing them laughing. Phaedra even helped matchmake Kandi with her now-husband, Todd, much to the chagrin of Mama Joyce, who questioned the intelligence of anyone who would pair two people with such big heads.

But as Phaedra’s personal life grew more chaotic and Kandi’s businesses consumed more of her time, their friendship began to splinter. Slights — perceived or otherwise — festered. Todd supported Phaedra’s soon-to-be-incarcerated husband, Apollo, which seemed to turn the tables irrevocably. They tried to repair the friendship a few times, but those conversations led nowhere. It was sad to see such joy replaced by resentment.

As bad as things got, no one really expected them to get to season-nine-reunion level, when it was revealed that Phaedra had been the one to spread the rumor that Kandi and Todd wanted to drug and assault fellow co-star Porsha. Even more shocking? Phaedra — the queen of spin, a lawyer by trade — was so thoroughly caught in her own web of lies that she had no choice but to admit it.

Bethenny Frankel & Carole Radziwill (RHONY)

If Jill was Bethenny’s meddling mother figure, Carole was her cool-girl bestie.

Carole joined the show in Bethenny’s absence, alongside new cast members Aviva Drescher and Heather Thomson, helping rejuvenate the franchise after a cataclysmic fifth season. Many saw Carole as Bethenny’s lapdog, but I saw it differently: Bethenny didn’t need another Bethenny to pal around with. (Even the fleeting thought of two Bethennys is enough to make me break out in hives.) What she needed was a Carole — someone unbothered, emotionally even-keeled, whose resting heart rate rarely broke 50 bpm. It was one of those rare Housewives friendships that clearly extended beyond filming and actually brought out the best in both women.

But the friendship crumbled under the weight of ego, the 2016 election, marathon training, and Carole’s younger boyfriend, Adam. Bethenny started calling Carole “a mean girl,” and Carole accused Bethenny of making everything about her — which, fair. Their conversations trying to mend the friendship were truly frustrating, making you want to jump through the TV; it was a rock-solid example of two people just not hearing each other.

Season ten’s reunion was brutal: Carole turned not just on Bethenny but on Andy Cohen, a friend before the show. Carole was fired and never looked back; Bethenny was set to return for season 11 but dropped out at the last minute. It was the most public, mean-spirited friendship split in Housewives history.

Kyle Richards & Lisa Vanderpump (RHOBH)

Was there ever a Real Housewives BFF-ship that served a show more than Kyle and Lisa’s? Look, we know from nine years of watching LVP manipulate and maneuver on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (and another 11 on Vanderpump Rules) that Lisa’s idea of friendship involves blind loyalty. We also know that Kyle is a perma-victim who wields her emotions like a samurai sword. What their friendship looked like off the show we’ll never truly know. But as reality stars playing best friends for the purpose of the show? Perhaps there was no better duo.

No amount of kissing and making up on the Eiffel Tower could stop the runaway train that was season nine’s “Puppygate” story line, in which the women fashioned rescue pup Lucy Lucy Apple Juice into a guillotine to finally dethrone Queen Vanderpump. Kyle and Lisa’s confrontation in Lisa’s kitchen — Kyle dressed like Carmen Sandiego, Lisa looking like she just fell into the Gap — will go down in reality-TV history as Ken delivered the friendship-ending salvo, “Good-bye, Kyle!”

The show never recovered. And to be honest? Neither have I.

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• Every First Real Housewives Episode, Ranked

 This year has been particularly brutal for our favorite frenemies.