Do you ever look at the wasted possibilities of The Gilded Age and think about how the series could make a statement about the times in which we live, and yet it has chosen to limp along, taking the coward’s way out via historical cameos and stilted conversation? Or are we all just here to make fun of Mamie Fish’s nightmarish hats? They’re so bad.
Anyway, if you need a refresher from last season, which finished airing in 2023: Oscar lost all the van Rhijn money in a railroad con; Ada is rich because Robert Sean Leonard died/left the show; Larry and Marian are dating now; and Bertha is scheming for Gladys to marry the Duke of Buckingham, hereafter known as “Hector.” Got it? Good, let’s dive back into our historical soap opera.
We open in the West, specifically in Arizona. The town looks like a high school play set, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt here and say that’s maybe what those shitty towns looked like back in the day — exactly like some high school students were handed nails and paint cans and told to make the set of The Music Man’s Wells Fargo wagon scene. Why are we here? Because George Russell and his assistant man need to build a railroad. George needs more money. More! But the land he needs has a bunch of mines on it, and the miners are being real butts about handing over the only thing they own to the guy who already owns everything else. All of the mine owners want to meet with George as a group to discuss this, so he obviously calls them stupid clodhoppers. That’ll show ’em!
When he finally meets with them, the miners basically say, we would also like to benefit from whatever you’re doing here. George is annoyed but has no time to argue because there’s another run on a bank, and he must hurry himself back to New York! He leaves his assistant man in charge. I’m trying to think what would make me suddenly interested in this railroad land rights plot line. Maybe if the whole show suddenly turned into Westworld? But season one of Westworld. (Can you imagine how good Carrie Coon would be on that show?)
Back in New York, Ada’s in charge of the van Rhijn household, thanks to Robert Sean Leonard’s family money. Apparently, Ada has been flitting from charity to charity, finding herself invested in a new cause every month. I can’t say this doesn’t sound relatable to me … only, instead of “suddenly donating a lot of money to the settlement house movement,” in my case, it’s “spending all my money on Labubus, only to have my toddler daughter call them her babies and appropriate all of them.” Which is fair.
So Ada’s into temperance now, which the show would like us all to think is very silly. The leader of the temperance meeting says, “Those who partake of alcohol are destined to the fury of Hell,” because the temperance activists definitely talked about Hell in their meetings and not about how married women had no claim to their husband’s income, and therefore could do nothing if he spent it all on alcohol, and had little recourse if he abused them or their children. Never mind that the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union was the largest women’s organization in the U.S. and provided public speaking opportunities for women at a time this was almost unheard of. Let’s just make fun of these temperance women and not think about how they successfully raised the age of consent across the country from as low as 7 years old (10 in many states) to 16 and 18. I am very displeased by this scene! Dis! Pleased! Also, let’s be honest, taking potshots at the temperance movement is lazy writing.
We very briefly see Broadway’s Queen, Audra McDonald, as she says good-bye to her daughter Peggy, a.k.a. Denée Benton. If you have not seen Audra McDonald’s performance from this year’s Tonys, gird your loins. And please do not miss Cole Escola’s reaction to the win for best actress in a musical. Also, she’s barely in this episode, but they threw us another Tony winner: Victoria Clark! Her son Billy is courting Gladys. I have no feelings about Billy. He exists for Gladys to have someone other than Hector, the duke. I would, however, love to ask his mother to sing her big song from Titanic the Musical.
We see Victoria Clark and Billy at the opera. Everyone is going to see the third act of La Traviata. I tried to research why they would show up for only the third act when literally that entire opera is perfect and they’re going to miss so many good songs, but maybe they just wanted to watch the soprano die. Weird move, guys. Larry and Gladys are supposed to go with Aurora Fane (Kelli O’Hara!), but her husband tells her he wants a divorce (in the 1880s), and he’s also having an affair with a woman named Elsa Lipton, whom I assume we’ll meet later. I definitely thought he was going to confess he was gay. There was a gay confession vibe. Maybe “Elsa Lipton” is code. Also, you’re not going to do a gay confession during PRIDE month? Where is the respect?
Aurora’s husband says she has to go to Newport and bring charges against him for adultery so they can get a divorce. Aurora says, well, hold your horses because I don’t want a divorce, and also, you’re not even telling me you’re gay. At Ada and Agnes’s house, Agnes tells Aurora that if she gets divorced, she can maybe definitely not come to dinner anymore. Everyone’s being a real butt this week. I’d say Larry is nice, but he’s wearing a very stupid bowler hat and he won’t let Jack come to their big important clock meeting. Marian made jokes at the temperance meeting. Bertha is trying to destroy Gladys’s life because she is The Gilded Age version of Ebenezer Scrooge now. The only person who has been good is Peggy, and Peggy is maybe dying of consumption! Meanwhile, Gladys is sick of everyone’s shit and flees into the night.
Gossip Items for Mrs. Astor’s Next Ball
• Bertha Russell called Billy Unknown-Last-Name a worthless non-entity, which is unfair. Surely, that non-entity has some worth.
• Larry Russell has been seen in a very stupid hat.
• John Singer Sargent showed up to paint Gladys Russell, and I heard it was a cringeworthy historical cameo, similar to when Rose talks about Picasso in Titanic.
• Aurora’s husband is gay, right?
Related
Everyone except Peggy is being a real butt this week.
