Gwyneth Paltrow, the road of strange celebrity trials you paved. Cardi B took the stand and turned it into stand-up during her assault trial on August 26 and 27. The lawsuit involves a security guard, Emani Ellis, who claims that Cardi cut her face with her fingernail and spat at her during an altercation in 2018 while the rapper was visiting a medical office. Cardi denies the claims, saying she saw Ellis recording her and when she asked the guard to stop, Ellis began following her. While the amount the security guard is suing Cardi for is not confirmed, Cardi claimed on the stand Ellis is “suing me for $24 million.” But the veracity of the allegations aren’t what has it going viral online — it’s Cardi’s genuinely befuddled responses to Ellis’s lawyer.

In one moment shared by legal reporter Meghann Cuniff, the lawyer gets confused because Cardi switched wigs for day two of her testimony. “Which one is your real hair, or are they both real?” he asks, to which Cardi responds, through giggles, “They’re wigs.” In another, he asks the rapper to explain the size and shape of her nails in detail. At one point, the lawyer raises his voice while asking Cardi to look directly at Ellis while repeating what she said during their fight. “Why don’t we just take the temperature down a little bit?” the judge says in response.

Cardi testifies that, as a pregnant woman, she was scared of Ellis. “She is like, security-heavy,” Cardi said. “She just looks a little like she could protect the building.” In questioning, the lawyer asks Cardi if she thought Ellis was “overweight” at the time, which Cardi’s lawyer objects to, and the judge sustains. “You don’t have to answer that,” the judge says, while Cardi shrugs and makes a face. Her newest album, out on September 19, asks Am I the Drama? but either way, she’s in it.

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 The only person who can make testimony funny without trying.