Are You Ready for Some Football (Schedule Announcements)?

 

Photo: LA Chargers/Twitter

It’s football scheduling night in America! Every year, teams are faced with the same dilemma: how to make their schedule announcements in a way that is both concise and fun. Also sticky, ad agencies love it when something is “sticky.” The social media gurus of each team had a huddle and came out with their best pop culture parodies. From Severance to anti-AI sentiment to Minecraft Let’s Plays to putting a little skrill in Brenda Song’s pocket, here are all the best NFL schedule announcement videos.

It’s a-them, the Atlanta Falcons!

The Atlanta Falcons did a full Mario Kart 64 parody, which makes us wonder: who is Kirk Cousins’ main? He seems like a Daisy or a King Boo.

Football players have Innies?

Leave it to Baltimore to lean into dystopia with the Ravens’ schedule announcement. Is a Severance parody really a good idea, NFL? Do you really want people thinking about what happens to the brains of football players?

The Buffalo Bills harness the power of AI

By which we mean Allen Iverson. Did you think we meant Artificial Intelligence? No way.

The Dallas Cowboys go full Taylor Swift

You’d think the Chiefs would have that angle covered, but nah. The Dallas Cowboys peppered their livestream with Easter Eggs. Are they dropping a version of Reputation before Taylor?

The Texans go retro

Remember “Wazzup?” Houston does, apparently.

You know, a very famous Houstonian is on tour right now and has easily-homaged visuals in said tour. Just saying.

The Jaguars have that Frasier water

So you release the schedule every day? And the mouth tape is part of it? Cool, cool.

Ben Bailey is a Chiefs fan

Again, you’d think the Chiefs would do something Taylor Swift-related. Or maybe use Paul Rudd. But no, it’s a Cash Cab parody.

The LA Chargers go full Chicken Jockey

E-Sports are the new sports, pass it on.

Brenda Song is balling out of control

LA’s other big team utilized one of the cities best natural resources: Macaulay Culkin’s wife. She’s a fucking gem.

The 49ers hit the Oregon Trail

In response, FanDuel has started including “Brock Purdy dies of dysentery” in their parlay options.

The Titans are in the pocket of Big Pharma

What would Lady Gaga (Actual Patient) think of this prescription drug commercial parody?

The Washington Commanders want to build a rollercoaster that kills you

All we need now is a Sims parody, and the kids PC game parody set will be complete. Maybe arena football can do one.

Related

 The Chargers got Brenda Song, while the Titans got in the pocket of Big Pharma. 

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