Whitney Rose is a civil-rights leader for redheads. Luckily for Lisa Barlow, she didn’t even realize that she had called her a “redhead” derogatorily last week until the episode aired, when she posted a lengthy message bravely standing up for all of those with the hair color. Her storming out wasn’t even about that, and, as it turns out, was only temporary. She tells us she just wanted to remove herself for a little bit until Lisa “tuckered herself out.”
So with Whitney gone, Lisa turns her ire toward Angie and her businesses — saying that she only owns one and a half Lunatic Fringes and the rest are franchises. Okay, but which half? Angie pushes back, saying she actually owns three, and adds, “You do French fries, I do franchise.” She’s one of our sharpest minds, and I’m not the only one who thinks so. “Oh, that was good,” Mary says across the table with a chuckle. These attacks are particularly hurtful, given that Angie has been supporting Lisa’s sons’ Fresh Wolf business by stocking their products on her shelves. However, Angie can be hurtful, too, referring to it as a C-level business. I do love that we’ve ascended to the heights of a Real Housewife dragging a child’s line of conditioner.
Heather finally speaks up, and to her credit, she calls them all out for going low, including Lisa. And to think they were doing this in front of Amy, the Utah Socialite! Against all odds, Heather gets through to Lisa, who starts crying and telling Angie how much she loves her, and Angie says the same back. I feel like I have whiplash. Even Lisa and Bronwyn call a truce, enough so for Lisa to raise a glass with the whole table. “I love each and every single one of you, even when I’m mad at you.” This is why this insane show works, and why there’s been so little cast turnover. They’re all the best thing a Housewife can be: resilient.
Do you know what else makes this show brilliant? All of the magic in the smallest of details. There’s a brief scene of Heather and Mary getting lunch, where nothing narratively important seems to happen, so on any other franchise, this would have been cut. But on Salt Lake, they simply had to include it because Mary casually says that tequila “tastes like hospital.” This, of course, calls back to the historic premiere where she told Jen Shah that she smelled like a hospital, and Mary says that anything with a smell has a taste, including farts. As she tries to explain this, Heather breaks the fourth wall, looking directly into the camera to laugh with us. Because first and foremost, Heather is a viewer like us — she just happens to have the best seat in the house.
Another small throwaway moment that I loved? The show including footage of Bronwyn driving over the curb as she arrived for her sit-down with Lisa. Luckily, the meeting goes much better than the parking job. They very smartly take it back to the beginning of the issue, which was Lisa’s coincidental connection to Gwen’s paternal grandparents and how that whole plotline was handled. Everybody apologizes for their part in that fumble; they both apologize for the low blows, as well as all the digging up of dirt, and they vow to turn a new page.
But Lisa’s not turning a new page with Angie, who tells Heather that the other day at Lunatic Fringe, Lisa’s assistant arrived unannounced to pick up all of the Fresh Wolf products. I say it every week, but these are artists at work who continually find new and exciting ways to play with this medium. Lisa then Venmos Angie and texts her, “I can send my cleaners to help you too. Sorry your salon is so dusty,” to which Angie quickly responds, “My salon is not dusty; your products are, though, because they’ve been sitting here for two years.” Lisa fires back with some vague dig about Angie borrowing money for a vacation and using a credit card she shouldn’t have. Angie doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but something tells me Lisa will be clarifying that very soon.
Speaking of people’s businesses, Mary and her cousin Big Joe check out her church now that the renovations are finally complete. But more importantly, they reflect on Mary’s tumultuous relationship with her estranged mother, who died a few months ago. Newer RHOSLC viewers might not be aware of the full bizarre backstory surrounding Mary, who married her step-grandfather to inherit her grandmother’s church, which her mother felt should have gone to her instead. This conversation is the first we’ve heard from Mary about that in quite a while, and she agrees that it was as weird as it sounds, but it was her grandmother’s wish. Now with her mother gone, it feels like the end of that tough chapter. But even as she’s crying, Mary still manages to make us laugh by mistaking a Louis Vuitton mask for a Kleenex.
Meanwhile, Whitney and Britani — paired up by production because their names rhyme, I can only assume — go plant shopping, and Whitney asks where things stand with Jared. The engagement is off, but they’re working toward getting reengaged, which is tough because Britani thinks her daughter, Olivia, wants to be put ahead of her relationship. Well, duh. But Britani says that’s a big ask. I can see it in Whitney’s eyes that she feels like she’s being Punk’d; she simply can’t fathom a mother saying this. So much so that she grabs Britani by the shoulders and tries to have a come-to-Jesus with her. She tells her that she simply has to put her daughter first, even if that means putting a pin in her relationship. Did this actually get through to Britani? Time will tell, but I don’t see Jared going anywhere anytime soon.
Speaking of mothering, over at Bronwyn’s house — where bobs are a genetic condition — she’s talking to her mom about Gwen and her boyfriend. Bronwyn explains that she wants her relationship with Gwen to be transparent and would rather know what she’s doing than have her sneaking around and keeping secrets like she had to. Naturally, Bronwyn’s mother disagrees, and they spar over what’s the right way to parent a teenager. What’s crazy is that Bronwyn’s mother is so adamant that her way is more successful, even though Bronwyn got pregnant. Worst of all, she’s still horrible to Bronwyn over the pregnancy and talks about it like it was a terrible mistake that she was the victim of. I try not to speak ill of women with bobs, but this is vile behavior.
While conflict continues to run amok within families, peace is still being brokered elsewhere. After a scroll-themed olive branch on the camping trip, Meredith and Angie meet up to continue to foster their budding friendship. Just kidding; Angie is using this as an opportunity to go after Lisa. She tells Meredith about the Fresh Wolf incident, and then goes on to tell her that back when the two of them (Angie and Meredith) weren’t on good terms, Lisa was in her ear telling her to dig up dirt on Meredith, even telling her specific things to look up about her family. In her confessional, Meredith says this is hard to believe, but in the moment, her face tells a different story. It looks like she actually can believe it. One way or another, they both know that she’ll have to confront Lisa to get to the bottom of this.
The wives agree to a temporary truce and settle their mother-daughter issues.
