After a cheating scandal between your CEO and the Human Resources executive goes super viral and gets memed by the Phillies and Chris Martin, there are only two options: either try to get everyone to forget about the whole thing, inevitably instilling the Barbara Streisand effect, or go out with a bang. Astronomer picked the latter. On July 25, a little over a week after the kiss cam was posted, Gwyneth Paltrow, aka Martin’s ex, became the company’s temporary spokesperson, addressing the most burning questions from the public, like “OMG. What the f-” and “How is your social media team hold-.” Of course, the company didn’t answer any of the juicy gossip; it tried to tell us what Astronomer actually does besides fueling a week’s worth of jokes, even if the average consumer isn’t in the market for data workflow automation solutions.

Thank you for your interest in Astronomer. pic.twitter.com/WtxEegbAMY

— Astronomer (@astronomerio) July 25, 2025

Now that there’s a book end to this whole thing, unfortunately, Astronomer released a new dragon: years and years worth of LinkedIn think pieces about viral marketing tactics.

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 Becoming Astronomer’s temporary spokesperson.