This episode has something for everyone. And by that I mean it’s a pretty decent intro to the reasons why some reality cast and crew members continue to push for unionization. There is a mental health crisis. There is a multi-scene conversation about equitable pay. But of course, there is also a debate about whether jackhammering is a sex position or simply a speed of pumping. Like I’ve said and will continue to say: MomTok contains multitudes. So let’s get into them.
It’s travel day for the girls’ trip to Scottsdale and Jen is MIA. Whitney shows up at her house for a wellness check and Jen is very unwell. Jen says yesterday some things happened but also she doesn’t know what happened, that she’s dealing with depression and hit rock bottom. She tells Whitney she had a thought the day before that she “didn’t want to be here anymore.” There has never been a more dire MOMTOK RED ALERT. I don’t care what your feelings are about Jen, she should not be on reality television in this state! No one should. Whitney jumps into mom mode, cleaning all of the food debris while instinctually working through damn near every step you’d find in a clinically solid action plan.
Not all of the moms show up in this same way. After landing in Scottsdale, taking a quick ride on a party bus where Demi insists that she and Bret stay in constant contact, everyone asks Whitney about Jen. As Jen requested, Whitney tells them she’s pregnant. It’s news to everyone, but Mayci is not surprised because “they don’t protect at all.” Like I said, contraceptive education needs immediate inclusion on the MomTok agenda. Layla makes a joke about a Band-Aid baby. Whitney is shocked that the other women are not exactly empathetic when they’ve all been pregnant and experienced depression themselves. Yes, MomTok has a major empathy deficit, but they also weren’t there for Jen’s suicidal ideation disclosure. A reminder to all of us that you never really know what someone else is going through.
Luckily, it’s time for another round of the truth box to get some answers. The truth box is low key lawless: sometimes you write a personal confession, other times you ask a targeted question. It’s question time and we get many answers. Jessi has photo evidence of her husband’s erect penis next to a ruler. Demi has only been apart from Bret five days in their entire marriage, so it’s impossible for him to have cheated. Whitney does not regret skipping Mayci’s brand launch because if she wouldn’t have missed it she “wouldn’t have known how to make things right.” Every redemption tour has its missteps.
However, the best truth box truth involves contract negotiations. I live for wage transparency. MomTok should go around in a circle and state their annual Schedule C and/or 1099-NEC income as well as all marital assets, with emphasis on ones received through inheritance. It would also be great to get a debate on the merits of forming an S-Corp, and detail any creative accounting happening, especially as it pertains to writing off cosmetic injectables. For now, we only find out that Demi was ready to push Jessi out of MomTok so she could get a bigger contract. We also learn that Jessi’s hair business is basically printing money. Taylor is confused why Jessi is so forgiving toward Demi. As am I. If Demi’s OG plan worked, Jessi wouldn’t just be pushed out of MomTok like Whitney was—she’d be removed from this entire stream of both revenue and social capital.
The next day at breakfast, Mayci and Whitney debate the dictionary definition of the word “regret” and Mayci calls Whitney out for wanting to be right more than wanting to validate others’ feelings. It’s such a thrill when a Shakespearean tragic hero has their fatal flaw so clearly pointed out. Kind of reminds me of when a character in a movie says the title of the movie in casual dialogue. They mostly make up because Mayci is dedicated to godliness, forgiveness, and friendship, even though Whitney will eat her own hair before doing an earnest apology.
Mikayla, on the other hand, is not dedicated to any of those things and holds the I HATE YOU WHITNEY line. I have to keep reminding myself she is only 25 years old because at this point, her one-sided beef (unless there’s some offscreen thing I’m not aware of?) is basically camp. Mikayla gets mad that Whitney wanted to have conversations with cameras around and Whitney screams, “Yeah, no fucking shit, we’re on a reality show.” Incredible stuff! When people say reality TV is scripted, I’d like to point them to this entire episode.
Back at Jen’s house, production attempts to give Zac a sympathetic edit as he wrangles the kids to go visit their mom in bed. A black screen comes up that says “Out of respect for Jen’s privacy, production has made the decision to stop filming with her at this time so she can focus on her mental health.” Thank god. Unfortunately, the notice says nothing about whether they’ll still be filming with Zac. No one needs this man speaking for his wife any more than he already does.
After a brief interlude at the “Dinks for a Difference” Celebrity Pickleball Match, the moms go to dinner. Whitney knows the best way to get the heat off her absurd situation with Mikayla is to pivot the drama. And with the absence of Jen, she is correct. So she digs deeper into the Demi-Jessi money feud. Taylor steps in and says Demi deserves to fight for more but not at the expense of kicking others out. She looks Demi square in the eye and asks why she thinks she deserves the biggest brand deals. Demi says she was a “fan favorite” and “an asset.” Oh, no. This is a cardinal sin and proof she did not study the annals of reality television history before signing her contract. There is no faster path to a flop era than thinking being a fan favorite is a permanent position.
Taylor doubles down and checks Demi’s delusions that she’s the star of the show. She says that none of them would have this opportunity without her and her mental breakdown. She then suggests that perhaps there should be a vulnerability pay scale where the more you’re willing to show your metaphorical ass, the more you should be paid. This is a terrible idea for Taylor’s overall wellbeing, but a pretty solid argument if we’re talking risk-return spectrum. I’m so curious how this would play out in practice. Would the girlies (or say, any Real Housewives franchise) still argue about authenticity if they knew surface-level fakery resulted in a smaller check?
At the mere mention of a hypothetical vulnerability pay scale, Demi discloses her fertility struggle. She talks about her endometriosis and Bret’s dead sperm and how they’re doing holistic interventions like energy healing and breathwork. I will not comment because I am not a medical professional, but really interesting stuff, I guess.
Post-dinner, the moms do a club appearance, then come back to the house just in time to interrupt what sounded like a delicious conversation between Jessi and Taylor about the difference between competition and jealousy. Then, it’s time for skinny dipping. Demi was ripe and ready to get them titties out, but Bret calls her and is like, “not on my watch.” It’s all very rich considering the fury Demi loves to unleash at other people being controlled by their husbands. The stage has been fully set for Demi’s villainy arc. But let us not forget. The true villain is the Mormon Church! Say it again with me. The true villain is the Mormon Church!
When people say reality TV is scripted, point them to this entire episode.
